Aromantic Asexuals

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 In the beginning...

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Join date : 2010-08-16
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PostSubject: In the beginning...   Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:26 am

Aromantic, to me, means to lack romantic attraction towards anybody. While a lot of asexuals are romantic, not all are.
Other types of attraction may be experienced like wanting friendships and platonic feelings - we aren't emotionless... We just don't experience romantic attraction. Some of us can be sexual because, as we all should know, romantic and sexual attraction are two different things.

Are you aromantic?

I don't know. Are you? I can still see what's awesome about a person but I don't want to do what are romantic things with them and I don't feel how a married couple feels to each other. Not that I know what romantic things are... I hug my cat but I don't count that as romantic but other people do.

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Rainbow Amoeba

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PostSubject: Re: In the beginning...   Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:16 am

Am I aromantic? Yes.

My definition of aromanticism, however, may be a bit different from other people's.

I don't know what romantic attraction means. I know what love is, and I have experienced it, but I don't think there are different kinds of love, I think there are just different people who are the object of love. Therefore, I don't think there is any such thing as "romantic love". When I love someone, it doesn't necessarily influence what kind of activities I want to engage in or which ways I want to use to express my love for them. Just because I love someone doesn't mean that I want to kiss them or hold hands with them or live with them or call them silly sweet names. I means I want to be there for them, that I feel comfortable with them, that I trust them and that they are very important to me (that I think about them very often, that I need to be in touch with them frequently, that their unhappiness makes me unhappy but their joy makes me glad.

I identify as aromantic because I reject romantic relationships. I think they are a restrictive format that comes with too many expectations and complications. All I care about, if I love someone, is that they love me back and value our friendship as much as I do. Everything else is undefined and must be decided with the other person, depending on the circumstances, on how we feel about things, on what we want. Thus, my relationships with the two close friends I love are very different.
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Isaac



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PostSubject: Re: In the beginning...   Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:24 am

I am aromantic, even more than asexual.

I'm aware the definition of aromantic isn't clear, this is a topic we may (and should) discuss in this new forum. As it was remarked in AVENwiki and Apositive, there are two meanings in usage:
  1. lack of romantic attraction,
  2. lack of desire to be in a romantic relationship.

Most people seem to use 1, for analogy with asexual, but this raise the question of defining romantic attraction. If it's defined (as in AVENwiki) as a feeling causing people to desire a romantic relationship with a specific other person, this raises the same question as 2: defining romantic relationship. Is it a social construct or does it have a core natural component?

I have no problem with the definitions for labeling myself as aromantic, since I am so under any definition ever used. I understand other people have their questions about being aromantic or not. Maybe we need concepts as grey-romantic, demi-romantic or romantic drive, whose sexual counterpart have been useful in the asexual community.
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Almagest

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PostSubject: Re: In the beginning...   Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:36 am

Am I aromantic?

I would say yes.

I've never been attracted to anyone. That, to me, seems like aromanticism.

So, Isaac, I guess I agree with definition 1. As for defining "romantic attraction", I really have no idea because I've never experienced it. It's a lot like asexuality in that sense--I know I'm asexual because I don't experience sexual attraction.
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LUVSUX

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PostSubject: Re: In the beginning...   Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:44 am

I have always been confused whether or not I am, so I identify as "borderline aromantic" or "demi-aromantic".

Although I am in a 2 year relationship, I very very rarely want anything romantic to do with him.
He is very much into the sexual AND romantic element of the relationship.
I just want to hang out with him as a friend.. oh well.
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ASexualRomanticaStarfish

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PostSubject: Re: In the beginning...   Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:16 am

Yes, I am Aromantic; however...

Isaac wrote:

  1. lack of romantic attraction,
  2. lack of desire to be in a romantic relationship.


I believe I would fit well into the second category. All I know is that there is a person in my social life whom I feel differently towards than my other friends, but I don't know him as well as some of my other friends. Is this descriptive of "romantic attraction"? I will never find out, because I have no desire to date him, feel no urgency to do so, nor hold any sentiment towards the idea.

I remember a time when I was ten years old and in the shower thinking deeply. My thoughts about the romantic relationships between others I have observed resulted in a decision to be completely free from any romantic relationship. I felt that so much sacrifice for someone you didn't know too well didn't make much sense, no matter how you felt about them. I also identify as an anti-romantic, and urge anyone pursuing a romantic relationship to give themselves enough time to find out whether it is really the right thing to do or not, and am not supportive of them unless they have done this. However, usually I tend to object to their goal either way because I begrudge both stupidity and sappiness Razz

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TSD



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PostSubject: Re: In the beginning...   Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:09 am

I would say I am probably aromantic. I usually don't commit myself to that, however, as I don't know what romantic attraction is (so maybe I've felt it and mistook it for friendship). As that statement suggests, I really don't understand the concept of romantic attraction, or aromanticism. So, I hope this forum will elaborate on what it means to be aromantic.
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